


Lucifer and the Goats

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [36]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 100 word drabbles, F/M, Goats, Humor, The Double Decker Drabble Fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 19:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: Lucifer finds goats sitting in his Corvette.  He is not amused.6 chapter drabble!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Navaros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Navaros/gifts).



> This is for my wonderful friend Navaros. Here -- have some goats! XD!!
> 
> This drabble-y fic has not been beta-ed, so I apologize for all mistakes.
> 
> The prompt for this chapter: Goats sat in the Corvette
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker, Dan Espinoza, Ella Lopez, and Amenadiel are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

Goats sat in the Corvette.

Lucifer gaped at the two animals comfortably ensconced in his car.  They turned toward him, their inquisitive eyes raking him up and down as if he was the intruder.  

“Bloody hell!”  he snarled as he stormed over.  

What were they doing in the precinct garage?  His eyes scanned the concrete structure, but it was devoid of people.  Frowning, he looked back at the animals.  The larger one with horns let out a “baa” and tossed his head in the air.  The other had the audacity to wink at him.  Rolling up his sleeves, he approached.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt: Lucifer studied the goat's horns

 

Lucifer studied the goat’s horns as he neared the driver’s side of the car.  He wasn’t looking forward to getting skewered by the creature if Chloe was anywhere nearby.  He could almost sense a malevolence about the animal as it eyed him warily.  The smaller goat, on the other hand, winked again and grinned.  An awful barnyard stench hit Lucifer full in the face and he almost gagged.  He’d never get the odor out of the upholstery!  He wanted to weep.  

“Out,” he ordered as he pointed to the ground.  “Now!”  They merely blinked at him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt: The goat bit Lucifer's ass

 

“Out!  Come on, chop, chop!”  Lucifer snapped his fingers as he opened the car door.  

“Why do you have goats in your car?”

Startled, he looked over to see Chloe standing next to him.  He waved at the animals.  “I don’t know!  They just... appeared!”

“Goats don’t appear out of nowhere.”

“Well these did!”  He stared desperately at his partner.  “Can you get them out, Detective?  They’re destroying my car.”

She held up her hands in a defensive gesture.  “I’m not getting between you and your goats.”

Just as she spoke, the goat bit Lucifer's ass.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt: The goat head-butted Dan's behind

 

Lucifer cried out as the goat ate a huge chunk of his trousers and boxers.  Cursing, the Devil whirled around to glare at the evil goat while Chloe doubled over in laughter at his exposed behind.

“Lucifer,  let me call Dan.  He might be able to help,” she said.

In a few moments, Dan stood next to the fallen angel and studied the goats while the Devil tied his jacket around his waist.

“Can you get them out?”

The man turned to the Devil.  “I don’t know but I can try.”  As he spoke, the goat head-butted Dan's behind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt: The goat bit Amenadiel's behind

 

“Right, I’m calling Amenadiel.”  Lucifer dialed his brother.

“Maybe we should call Ella,” Dan told Chloe.  Nodding, she pulled out her phone.

Soon the angel arrived.  “Why are there goats in your car?”

“That’s the million dollar question.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Dad put them there.”

Amenadiel walked up to the goats.  “Come on, get out of the car.”

The two animals blinked at him but didn’t move.  The angel waved his hands as he turned toward his brother.  “I don’t know how to get them out.”

The angel cried out as the goat bit Amenadiel's behind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt: Ella loved the naughty goat

 

Ella  _ loved _ the naughty goat.  She liked the winking one too, but the ornery one was adorable.  Laughing at the men, she shook her head at them.  “Don’t you guys know anything?”

They all stared at her.

Fishing in her pockets, she pulled out a carrot.  “Hey, look what I have.”  Bleating hungrily, the goats immediately vacated the car.  The men gaped as she fed the animals.  

“Let’s take them inside,” Chloe said.

The humans led the goats away as Amenadiel snorted in amusement.

Meanwhile Lucifer gazed at his car, heartbroken.  “I’ll never get the smell out....”


End file.
